Tag Archives: curlynikki.com

Response to “We will not lose our love, our marriage, OVER HAIR”

25 Oct

I had a completely different post that I was going to work on today and then I read this article on curlynikki.com: “We will not lose our love, our marriage, OVER HAIR”

Summary/Highlights: 

-married 5+ years

-pregnant – 5 months now – with…second child

-been natural almost 1 year

-husband calls and tells her they need to talk then says this:

” “WE NEED TO SPLIT UP.” Huh? What? Where is this coming from? Instant flood of tears and hyperventilating.

He never wanted me to go natural. He doesn’t like “nappy” hair. He likes straight hair. He felt that I had totally ignored his feelings by going natural in the first place, but the fact that I’ve stayed natural, despite his disdain, is even worse. It doesn’t matter that everyone else around us likes my hair. He is my husband and his opinion should matter most. When he married me I had long, straight hair. He’s not attracted to me anymore because of my hair, and therefore he felt that the best solution was to split up, instead of being disgusted with the sight of me daily. But if I straighten my hair (it doesn’t have to be a relaxer), then everything will be ok and go back to normal. Blah, blah, blah.”

-She writes out her feelings & questions for him:

“…Are you willing to give up our love, sex, family, home, future plans… all because of my hair?! NO, NEVER.

My response was: Then I cannot, WILL NOT get a chemical relaxer. So what is your REAL problem?

His response was: Well, it’s just that all the “different” styles you have been doing have been “nappy” styles. Can you please do some straight styles, and do them more often?

Of course! Why didn’t you say that in the first place boy?!

Ever since then, we’ve been back in love like usual. He touches my “nappy” hair and tells me I’m beautiful. And I still haven’t done a straight style yet, although I do plan to keep my promise – to prevent another childish rant.

Conclusion: Turns out, he just did a really horrible job of expressing his feelings. And I did a really horrible job of acknowledging his feelings. We will not lose our love, our marriage, our life together… OVER HAIR.”

My response/reaction: So my 1st response to this was, “what kind of man is he…” I don’t know a man that is THAT interested in their woman’s hair to actually split up their marriage?!?! Are you kidding me?!  She concluded that he did a bad job expressing his feelings…however, I think the root of his problem is that he has control issues and if that is the case, she needs to be careful.  A controlling man can turn into something ugly very quickly.  I’m glad she wrote out her feelings/questions (that’s an excellent thing to do so that you don’t just GO OFF) and I’m glad they worked it out.  We definitely have to take a deeper look at what we said when we took those marriage vows to our spouse before God, our family & friends.  Marriage isn’t a joke and OPEN COMMUNICATION is key to any situation.  We can not be so quick to just run away from a situation because we don’t “like” it.  Lastly, if you have children, remember that you are the example that they see everyday and they are learning every second by your actions on how to love & care for a spouse so PLEASE show them the best example that you can be!

Have you experienced a break-up or negativity from a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend because of your hair?

© Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls, 2011. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, documents, and images without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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“Side Eye Moments” Reaction Part I

7 Oct

I saw this post on curlynikki.com and thought it was pretty fun and SOOOO common:

“Side Eye Moments”

Skinny Kenny goes on to explain 1 of his own “side eye moments” (moment when someone gives you an underhanded compliment or just disses your hair to your face on the sly like its ok…):


Skinny-Kenny
 writes:

“I was at a very nice restaurant for my mother’s birthday. I got up to go to the bathroom and an older white woman stopped me and told me how much she loved my hair. She told me how much I looked like “little Richard”, and asked if I was a singer. The conversation was going well and I was about to go about my way. And then she said, “Ohh and we are ready to order now, I’ll have the lamb and she’ll have the salmon.” *SIDE EYE* You are going to have some… go somewhere with that mess. My hair doesn’t make me a server for you.”

LOL, how is this lady gonna compliment him and then straight take it back as she assumes he’s her waiter…..?! Too funny.  I had a conversation with a kid today about my hair (mind you, kids say WHATEVER they want to because they’re just innocent little kids right…NOT!)

I took out my 2 strand flat twists that were in the front all week that I had been wearing like a head band and pinned them to one side, while the back of my hair was in the same wash & go style I had worn all week. So, granted I was a bit “un-confident” in my hair because it was a little different than usual for me & I knew my wash & go wasn’t too fresh. So the little girl, who’s sweet as pie usually I promise, she tells me:

Little Girl: “You look different from the last time I saw you.  Your hair was tied back last time now it’s just soooo curly. Did you want your hair to look like that?”

Me: “wait, what do you mean ‘do I want it to look like that’?”

Little Girl: “Did you want it to look like that? I’m  just asking?”

Me: “Well is it messed up? Yea, I meant for it to look like this, girl we bout to go to the bathroom and fix it! LOL”

The little girl is a sweetheart I just wasn’t expecting her to say that. Yes, I get my hair tips from 5 year olds LOL.

What underhanded/sideways hair compliments have you gotten? (Is it even still called a compliment if they just take right back from you, lol?)

My hair today 10/7/11:

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© Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls, 2011. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, documents, and images without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Corinne Bailey Rae on Curlynikki.com

4 Oct

If you didn’t get a chance to read this article yesterday on Curlynikki.com take a look at Corinne Bailey Rae the sultry singer & sassy natural hair DIVA!!

Corinne Bailey Rae – “I wanted to Start a natural Hair Site!”

 

Oooooo and maybe I’m late but Corinne did a remake of the CLASSIC Prince song, “I Wanna be Your Lover”
Girl you better go head and recognize the musical genius that IS Prince! lol

 

My fav points:

“So when I went to University, I had this natural hair style- like a tiny afro, really, really short hair- and I’d always wear jeans and a leather jacket and everyone thought I was a Black Panther.”


“What I do now is wash it, put the conditioner in and detangle it with a big paddle brush which takes 40 minutes… it takes a while. I do it from the ends to the roots and then I put it in 4 or so plaits– I plait the front section and then one in the crown and two at the sides. I leave that for a day or a day and a half…. it has to be a day where you’re just hanging out at home. When I take them down, it’s in those loose kinks from the plaits, but it’s still a bit wet, so then my natural curl kind of comes back in a bit and it’s a combination between those kind of kinks and my normal curls. That’s my staple style.”

“Obviously eating well and drinking water helps. It’s also a myth that Afro hair can’t grow long and it can. You just have to give it time, plus it’s growing in a spiral and it’s takes a bit to show length.”


“I really like that website Lecoil. I think she has some really good pictures on there and it’s really inspiring as well. The thing I found most depressing about that Chris Rock documentary Good Hair was that lawyer. She had this very beautiful afro and the other black girls were like, ‘I think your hair is cute and all but when you become a lawyer no one is going to take you seriously because of your hair’, and she was like, ‘yeah I know I’m going to have to change it when I become a lawyer’. So, so sad. So the thing I love about Lecoil is that when you click on a picture, you find that this person is the CEO of a company, or a journalist, or the creator of a website! I think it’s really important to show more and more people in influential positions that just let their hair be.”


“But you know what, I have stages where I just put Vaseline in my hair if it’s dry. I put the Vaseline in it and comb it through. I remember after using it for a while, I went to my hairdresser and she said, ‘your hair is in really good condition, what have you been using?’ and I told her! She couldn’t believe it. I like to put essential oil in it and it gives it a really nice smell. It’s cheap and I think that’s a myth… that you have to use really expensive products and you don’t. You can add stuff like Olive Oil, Almond oil or things you just find in the health food store to help expensive products last longer. Experiment is what I say. What works for one person may not work for you.”

 

LOVE her hair & this article! What’s your fav Corinne Bailey Rae song?

My new fav is this Prince remake, “I Wanna Be Your Lover”!  and her song “Closer”

© Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls, 2011. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, documents, and images without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Banana Poo…Tastes Just Like It Sounds !

2 Sep

To eat or DC...?

Looks tasty right…? I stumbled upon this article in my e-mail on how to make a Sweet Banana Creme Pre-Poo recipe to deep condition (DC) your hair for soft, beautiful tresses!  When I try it out I will be sure to let you know how it goes!  Have you tried any good recipes to deep condition your hair? (Sometimes a refrigerator raid is necessary when your fav hair products are low & your curls are in need of some TLC!)

 

© Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, documents, and images without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I can’t pass up an article on the daughter of the best singer there ever was…! Lalah Hathaway is on point on so many levels! ♥ her!

1 Sep

www.curlynikki.com

R&B and Jazz singer Lalah Hathaway is On the Couch! Often called the ‘First Daughter of Soul’, this amazing, Grammy nominated talent, has a gorgeous head of luscious locs and she’s telling all! Read on– On her hair story… I’ve had every kind of hair imaginable- – throughout the 70s and 80s I wo…
 
 
© Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, documents, and images without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ashley Brown and 24sevencurls with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.